"Infernus"

"El infierno de todos los vivos no es algo por venir; hay uno, el que ya existe aquí, el infierno que habitamos todos los días, que formamos estando juntos. Hay dos maneras de no sufrirlo. La primera es fácil para muchos: aceptar el infierno y volverse parte de él hasta el punto de dejar de verlo. La segunda es arriesgada y exige atención y aprendizaje continuos: buscar y saber reconocer quién y qué, en medio del infierno, no es infierno, y hacer que dure, y dejarle espacio."

Fragmento de "Las ciudades invisibles" Italo Calvino

S... hong_s (4)

THE LAST

Xtiane

Someone told me
It was midnight
In the moment
Of my collapse.

That my sick face,
And that dead place,
Someone told me
They were ice.

That in the surface
I was lying,
Immobile
Anatomy.

That you were silent,
Disappointed,
That a tear fell down
Straight to me.

Someone told me
I wasn’t breathing,
And you were screaming
For my life.

That I was bleeding
And you were drinking
Your own drops,
Drops of salt.

That suddenly you
Were there resting,
With me bleeding,
With me saying goodbye.

Like the ending
Of a fairy tail,
But the ending here
Wasn’t how we believed.

Like a nightmare,
It just happened,
In the middle
Of the night.

Someone told me
You were floating too,
And there a gun
Was next to you.

LIFE PHOBIC

Xtiane

Darkness kingdom,
I cannot see anything.
Tears and sorrow,
Incomprehensible crying.
Looking forward an invisible shape,
Stuttering “help me”,
My world’s falling by itself.

No one knows, nobody knows; I stopped walking.
Life is leading me to breathe, but I run, oh! I run…

Somewhere I can exist without fears, I’m hiding.
I feel completely desireless,
I’ve an impotent wish and wake up
Just to see my own path to go through.

Expectations
Of a lonely soul, betrayed.
Only wish I was
In a paradisiatic place.
Raped rights, conquered
By a superficial life.
Maybe I can regret
But it’s late to take this back.

But no one knows, nobody knows; keeps biting me.
Life is leading me to breathe, but I run, no! I run…

Somewhere I can exist without fears, I’m hiding.
I feel completely desireless,
I’ve an impotent wish and wake up
Just to see my own path to heaven, to caring, to light.

Somebody listen my shout!
Somebody listen my shout!
Please, somebody listen my shout!
Has somebody listened my shout?

…’cause I’m going through.

FIREWORKS INSIDE

Xtiane

They think you are fancy,
But you’re unkind.
You are selfish,
Oh! You are so bad.

It’s your sex appeal,
Your appetite,
What makes them suffocate,
Makes them sweat and tire.

In their cars,
In their minds,
They go crazy,
They go blind.
They take you
By the hand,
They try to tame your
Heat and type.
But you hate
To boil in here;
You want another
Atmosphere.
You should come
With me now,
I will show you
To be chaos.

Baby, let’s play too many games,
Let’s just make love out in the rain,
I want you to feel!
I want you to scream!
Baby, let’s make fireworks inside,
Join me and let’s go beyond this pressing ice,
I want you to dance!
I want you to fly!

Don’t let them triumph,
Leave them behind.
Don’t let them triumph,
Leave them apart.
Free your savagery,
Your scornful animal,
Oh! Your animal,
Your animal…

Baby, let’s play too many games,
Let’s just make love out in the rain,
I want you to feel!
I want you to scream!
Baby, let’s make fireworks inside,
Join me and let’s go beyond this pressing ice,
I want you to cry!
I want you to burn inside!

S... hong_s (3)

MOMO

Xtiane

Crossed the corridor; you’re finally there
You look for somewhere to entertain yourself.
Oh! You are hurried and you cover your ears
For not to hear the increasing sound of your heartbeat.
Before you get in the place.

You’re plenty of indiscreet thoughts, Momo, Momo
It’s obvious; music turns you on, Momo, Momo
You’re taking shoes and socks away, Momo, Momo
You wonder if you wanna play, Momo, this game, this dirty game.

Come on
Oh! Your lingerie, it gives you away.
You wanna stay with me tonight, is it right?
You take me in by your charm.
Let’s drink some champagne and talk for a while, is it alright?
Before we lose our minds.

I’m part of your indiscreet dream, Momo, Momo
It’s obvious; music makes you sing, Momo, Momo
You’re taking shirt and blue jeans off, Momo, Momo
You wonder if you wanna stop, Momo, this show, this funny show.

Go, go, go, go, go…
Nothing matters,
Nothing, at all.
Your self-inquisition doesn’t care anymore,
Cause you’ve decided
To carry on.
In a few hours, my little Momo, you’ll be again at home, by your own.

BLACK IS THE COLOUR OF NIGHT

Xtiane

I am ugly, I know
That I can’t go through this road.
You don’t have to repeat,
What reminds me are the scars on my skin.

That you can’t see them, I know,
Cause of the darkness I show.
You say I’m destined to live
Rejected in the hidden underworld.

What I can’t understand
Is why the night is also black?
And besides it greatly shines
Lightened by millions of stars.

Why don’t you take my hand,
If your hand is just like mine?
They can both hold a sword,
But they can also hold a rose.

Black is the colour of night,
Black is perfect.
Black are the most beautiful eyes,
But it is discriminated.

Black is the world’s worst mistake,
Black is wrong.
Black can somehow be heavy,
But never strong, never strong.

MERCY

Xtiane

Take my hand,
Drink the wine,
Then throw it all out.
Kiss my head,
Shake it then
And feel my pain.

Whisper a sound,
Turn around
And see your shadow holding a knife.

Run every street,
Shout every word,
Take all your clothes off
And beg for mercy to God.

Blame every sin,
Cut every vain,
Until any drop’s left
And beg for mercy to God.
And beg for mercy to God.
Beg for mercy, for mercy.

S... hong_s (2)

A continuación, la más cursi (la más)...

ROSEMARY’S SAD EYES

Xtiane

Any wonder.
Any hand on my shoulder.
I was torn inside.
For a moment
I forgot I was broken,
Cause you were all alight
Stepping in my life!

As soon as I looked in your eyes I could see the sadness kept in each tear that you’ve cried.
I want to be the one who dries them, making their beauty shine.

So don’t you go back,
So don’t you go far.
You stay here with me; I’ll never let you down, my friend.
As far as I can do, I’ll never let you down.

I surrender to you.
As soon as I swooned in your arms I could feel the weakness kept in each hug you’ve desired.
I want to be the one who cares and loves you the rest of the time!

Promise…
That you won’t go back,
That you won’t go far.
That you’ll be with me and never let me drawn again.
As far as I can do for you, I’ll do, I’ll do.
Cause I, cause I…
As much as I could, as much as I’ll be loving you.

Unas cuantas más...

CRASHING LIKE A SPACESHIP

Xtiane

Knock, knock,
and the lights fall.
Last page
of a dark book.
Inside
of the “outside”.
Lost somewhere
deep in you.

And the riots in my head seem to be closer.
And my first days lost in your highways are here.

Let me take part
Let me take part
of the stars.

Let me take part
Let me take part
of a crumbled sky.

It’s up to you that I keep flying.
I wonder if I’m going back home.

Crashing
like a spaceship.
Crushing
blow to the head.
This is all fall
to pieces.
I said knock, knock,
let me in.

And the riots in my head seem to be closer.
And my first days lost in your highways are here.

Let me take part
Let me take part
of the stars.

Let me take part
Let me take part
of a crumbled sky.

It’s up to you that I keep flying.
I wonder if I’m going back home. (2)

(It’s up to you that I keep dreaming.
I wonder if I’m giving up drugs.)

NOTHING

Xtiane


Grabbed the toothpaste,
Put the jacket on.
Stared for last time at your dirty clothes, on the floor.

A good, foggy day to walk away,
Started the car and drove through acid rain, on my way.

As a tear ran down my face,
Bitter vodka in my mouth I could taste.

Parked in the middle of the lonely road,
Lighted a cigarette, another nip, and dark smoke.

Wet ground felt in my fingertips,
Exposed body, glance lost in nothing.

All I did was always wrong,
Never meant to make you suffer with that rope.

Now I’m driving once again,
In my head: your ended youth
And some toothpaste coming out of the tube.

S... hong_s (1)

Hola, ¿qué tal? Aquí estoy de nuevo con una idea para el blog. Se me ocurrió, pensando con qué carajos podría llenar esta paginita, que puede ser un buen espacio para subir unas canciones-poemas que he escrito por ahí. (Digo canciones-poemas porque no tienen música aún, o más bien, está en mi cabecisha porque yo no toco ni el arpa, así que ahí se quedará hasta que llegue a mí un músico guapo, talentoso y sexy que desee ayudarme a ponerles melodía.) Ok, pues comenzaré subiendo 2 o 3, únicamente con el ánimo de llenar la rayita con el sustantivo "music"
y de que dejen una que otra felicitación, tal vez, mentada o cualquier comentario, si desean. Y sobre las canciones-poemas no explicaré nada; todo es más shidow en el mundo de la imaginación.

A SAME-SEX STORY

Xtiane

There’s something you hide
Oh! You, harmless,
Something that captivates me.
It’s something you are
That places you alone.
A thing that makes you not match with the crowd.

With eyes closed they look at you,
They hate so much to see you blush.
Take your time,
And give me a smile; I won’t leave it aside,
Boy, I’ve noticed what you’ve got inside.
The colorful and beautiful you are.

Extend me your hand with those flowers, oh, oh, oh,
You can say you find them exciting, oh, oh, oh,
Write a same-sex story with me,
You don’t have to fear.

And I see you have
To wear that hat just to cover your eyes
Painted in the way you like.
The soft red
That’s in your lips is making me
Feel to death for just a kiss.
Testosterone now’s lower than our knees.

Extend me your hand with those flowers, oh, oh, oh,
You can say you find them exciting, oh, oh, oh,
Write a same-sex story with me,
You don’t have to fear, boy, boy,
You don’t have to fear, oh, oh, oh,
You don’t have to fear.
Same-sex story, you don’t have to fear.

ODE TO A WHORE

Xtiane

She is the one,
My little mistake
She’s my sunshine,
My tender lie.

She’s the kind of
Girl that dresses
Cute disguises
And cheap perfume.

She’s like a flower,
With much more thorns.
Like an angel,
But without God.

Refrain:

Oh! Let me tell you that,
She’s hot but she also cries.
Her indecent and lost tears
Can’t be compared to her heart beat.
Oh! Let me tell you then,
That she’s my pretty face,
My consolation at nights,
My lovely, crazy fall.

She’s my secret,
My divine pleasure,
She’s in my hand.
I like to touch her,
I love to watch her
At the corner of this dirty street of mine.

LAS UÑAS LARGAS DE AQUEL ARTE

Xtiane

Miro al tiempo, las horas corriendo
para escapar.
El sudor es un ser paralítico
con uñas largas en los pies.

Veo un camino
que me lleva al infinito.
Un fuego inextinto
que me hace arder.

Donde las noches eternas se compactan.
Las clarividencias son ríos de color.
Las pupilas bien dilatadas
y las propulsiones sanguíneas a todo vapor.

Es un acto de fe
en donde el oscuro mirar es lo que pasa,
sin un maldito fragmento de moral;
es que así es esto del arte erótico fatal.

Si bien esas garras me rascan y me excavan,
no hay una gota que sangre al caer.
Mis últimas ganas se extinguen
y quedan pedazos de uñas clavadas.

Donde las noches eternas se compactan.
Las clarividencias son ríos de color.
Las pupilas bien dilatadas
y las propulsiones sanguíneas a todo vapor.

Es un acto de fe,
y ahora mi oscuro mirar es lo que pasa aquí,
sin un maldito fragmento de pudor;
es que así es esto del arte y del amor.

¡Mírame arder! (2)
Me arde. (2)

1 (uno = inicio)

Aquí estoy... porque todo tiene un principio y un fin. Por ahora, éste es el principio de una página llamada "On my ___ I think clearer."
Explicaré un poco el titulito, sólo para los que no pueden vivir sin respuestas:
Hay una canción de Snow Patrol (cabe mencionar, una de mis bandas favoritas) que se llama "Chocolate"; uno de sus versos dice: "On my knees I think clearer." Una vez, puse esta frase como nick de Messenger (¡qué raro!) y fue bastante polémica por tener un carácter... sexual. De verdad me sorprendí; ¡qué loco mundo en el que vivimos! Sólo hasta entonces se me ocurrió que podría tener dicha connotación (o que tal vez no... en realidad, todo es un "¿quién sabe?").
Recordé las palabritas de la canción cuando hubo que ponerle un nombre al blog. Lo escogí como una representación de lo que será este pequeño-gran espacio: Todos tenemos un "algo" que nos identifica, que nos hace sentir cómodos, en lo correcto, en la verdad (nuestra súper verdad), en confianza... y nos sentimos con ello más cool, más fashion, más metal, más hippie, o lo que sea. Aquí, sean libres de expresar todo ese "algo", ¡y que los llamen "locos"!
Entonces, nada de "knees"... se vale poner en la rayita cualquier sustantivo de sustantivos, ¿por qué? sólo porque se vale ser... sí, sí.
Hoy, yo digo que "On my BLOG I think clearer." ¿Mañana? No sé, quedan muchos sustantivos... y de alguna manera, la rayita siempre estará en blanco.
¡A llenarla, hunns! :p